The Droid You Should Be Looking For

I was going to write about the remarkable and touching story of R2-KT, a droid now included in Star Wars lore who in this time and in this galaxy is doing a great deal of good for many children.

Katie's older sister, Allie, came up with
 the name and the color scheme.
From R2KT.com.

When Katie met KT. From R2KT.com.

The thing is, Jamie Frevele already told the story very well over at The Mary Sue, and - any time I can direct you to that site - I'd just as soon do that.
Still, I'll give you the nutshell version: In 2004, a little girl named Katie Johnson was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Katie and her family were big Star Wars fans and Katie's dad came up with an idea for a real-life R2 droid who would watch over Katie while she slept. He puts the idea out to the world of Star Wars fandom, and R2-KT is born. Sadly, Katie Johnson is no longer with us, but the little pink droid travels around in her memory, lifting the spirits of sick children and raising awareness about childhood cancer.

Tell me this doesn't totally make your day. I dare you.
From R2KT.com.

R2-KT's history and adventures are chronicled over at R2KT.com. Go take a look today or any day that you need a reminder that the world is a pretty great place - often as a result of geeks with big hearts.

It Geeks Better

"Come at me, bro."

Yes, yes. It has been a while since I've updated here, I know. I have no excuse - other than I just haven't had anything about which I felt like writing. Those of you who know me are now looking incredulously at your screens and saying, "Brady? The know-it-all who has an opinion about everything? Who just this morning corrected a stranger on Twitter about koalas having poisonous stingers? Nothing to say?"
Well, come on. They had it wrong. It's the platypus. And they were telling Jeri Ryan. You don't give 7 of 9 bad info. You just don't.
Anyway, maybe I'll get into why I haven't been writing later (or maybe I won't.)

". . . "

Today, however, I decided that I have something to share.
Last weekend, I went to my first Comic Con, which was the very first Denver Comic Con. Why had I never been to one before? I think it's been partly a matter of opportunity and partly a matter of me just not being particularly star-struck. I'm not into getting autographs or having my picture taken with celebrities. I'd love to sit down and talk with Patrick Stewart about playing Claudius in Hamlet three decades apart (first to Derek Jacobi's Hamlet, later to David Tennant's), or about his interrogation scene in the original Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy where he acts opposite Sir Alec Guiness and speaks not one word of dialogue, but the seventy-five people standing in line behind me with Picard dolls waiting to be signed are hardly going to sit still for that conversation.

I digress. It's not important why I'd never been to a con before, just that I was at one last weekend.
And by "important," I mean in my usual superfluous way.
Overall: I loved it. I loved the artist tables, the costumes, the exhibits, and I must say that it was pretty cool to look up at one point and see Bruce Boxleitner sitting back and taking it all in, too. Tron, yes. Babylon 5, yes. Scarecrow and Mrs. King, sure. But, to me, he was first Billy Montana in the Kenny Rogers as the Gambler movies. Brady Hawkes (Rogers) was the first time I had seen a character anywhere with the same first name as me. When you're a seven-year-old kid who's been listening to "Brady Bunch" taunts for two years, that's kind of a big deal.
Right. Digressing again.
Okay, my favorite thing about the comic con: . . . wait, no. My favorite thing is a little personal and wouldn't mean anything to you all anyway. Let's go with my second favorite thing.
Second favorite thing about the comic con:
I saw a boy who was probably about thirteen years old walking around in a Batman costume. judging from his gait, he was probably a little bit awkward in his regular, uncostumed life, but today he was walking a little bit taller. He was wearing the cape and cowl of his favorite superhero -possibly his favorite person, real or fictional. I get that. It's pretty easy to identify with Batman when you're an awkward, nerdy teen. (I probably don't need to tell you that I speak from experience.) Batman is smart, kind of a loner, largely misunderstood, and he fights for what's right. He looks out for the little guy.

Coolest guy at the con. Hands down.

But comic books aren't cool. Not when you're thirteen. Maybe not even when you're 38, but "cool" is quite a bit more important when you're thirteen. I'll bet that kid would dress like Batman every day if he could. That's how important Batman is to him. I know. He was that important to me. So were Spider-Man, Green Arrow, the Hulk, Magnus Robot Fighter, Han Solo, the Doctor, and Commander William T. Riker.
I was hit by two emotions when I saw this kid - and the dozens of boys and girls of all ages just like him. First, I was filled with this sense of joy as I watched them get their geek on, so to speak. Wearing the logo of their favorite heroes proudly on their chests or fully-embodying these legendary figures in reverently handmade costumes, they were saying to the world (or at least the geek-world) "This is my hero! These are the ideals with which I identify!" (My hope is that the people dressed as the Joker were just saying, "Check out my awesome costume!") Second, though, I was hit by the realization that most of these people - especially the adolescent ones - have to keep their hero worship under wraps in their daily life.
"Immature."
"Childish."
"Weirdo."
"Geek."
I heard them. I'm sure these kids hear them, too. Even though there is a measure of "geek chic" these days, and supermodels are happy to tell us on talk shows what "big nerds" they are, there's still a line in the sand for being too nerdy.
There are "cool nerds" who are mostly just trying to capitalize on this culture of geek fandom, but they really have about as much in common with that kid in the Batman costume as Dewey Finn has with Jaime Escalante. (Oh, look it up.)
I looked at that kid, and I remembered the Halloween that I dressed up as the Tom Baker Doctor and everyone thought I was Arnold Horshack.

I tried to explain this amazing show called Doctor Who, but eventually, it was just less humiliating to be dressed as the guy with the funny voice on Welcome Back, Kotter reruns.
Either way, I was frequently nearly strangled with my own scarf throughout the day, and the girl I liked rolled her eyes at me and called me a dork. Not a banner day.
I don't wish to diminish the message of the "It Gets Better" movement by purloining their slogan for this blog post. At the same time, it's important to remember that it's not just the gay kids who get bullied.
I wanted to go up to that kid and say:

"Hope. Change. Web-shooters."

"Hey, I think it's awesome that you like Batman. Don't let anyone ever tell you that it isn't cool to like Batman or to like comic books or science fiction. Batman, Superman, the Doctor, Captain Picard: these are the Gilgamesh, the Hercules, the Cu Chulainn, and - dare I say it? - the Jesus of the modern era. When our President made a public statement endorsing the rights of all people to be married regardless of sexual orientation, that wasn't his Christian ideals guiding his hand so much as his fanboy ideals. 'With great power, comes great responsibility.' That's Spider-Man. Legends have always served as the guideposts of civilization, and modern civilization needs modern legends. Obama gets it. I get it. And you get it. I feel sorry for the people who don't get how important the work of Bob Kane, Gene Roddenberry, and Stan Lee are to the future of our society. Even more important are the people who read those works, and who get it. The world needs heroes, and you picked a good one."
Of course, I didn't say that to him because a stranger accosting thirteen-year-old boys wearing spandex is the sort of thing that I assume gets one thrown out of a comic con. So instead when I passed him, I said, "Cool costume, man."
I think he knew what I meant.

No Frills

I am one of those people who does watch the DVD extras in addition to the movie. Sometimes, I'll watch them immediately after the movie, and sometimes I like to wait a day or two. When I finally tracked down a copy of The Set-Up (1949), I watched the movie twice in a row - the second time with the commentary by the director Robert Wise and Martin Scorsese, but that's only something I do rarely. I also don't watch all of the extras all of the time. It kind of depends on the movie or who is in it.

In an Eddie Murphy film, I'm looking for blooper outtakes and a possible glimpse of some acknowledgement that his career has gone off the tracks.
In a Quentin Tarantino movie, I'm looking for the man himself to talk at length about his original concept for the film . . . or about cottage cheese . . . I don't really care . . . that guy is nuts.
In a Reese Witherspoon movie, I'm looking for a deleted swimsuit or negligee-pillow-fight-scene.
In a George Clooney movie, I'm looking for bloopers and, well, deleted negligee-pillow-fight-scene.
Anyway . . .
I'm sure that many of you have noticed that many rental DVDs now come with only the movie and no extras whatsoever. This is an attempt by the movie studios to get consumers to buy the version that will have the bloopers, featurettes, deleted scenes, music video montage scenes, and in-depth interviews with the caterers.
Okay, I guess that makes sense. Why wouldn't I pay $20 for the full version DVD of X-Men: First Class after renting it for $1 from Redbox.
Oh, right: because it's $20. And I've already seen it. And now I'm pissed because I'm sure there's a clip of James MacAvoy forgetting his line and saying, "Oh, bollocks! Guess I'm not all that bloody psychic after all!" and Fox is too stingy to let me see it for the cost of the rental.

I played Magneto in a movie and all I got was this stupid -
hey, where's my shirt?

I'm sure it's hilarious, and I'll bet it has Michael Fassbender cracking up and giggling like Anderson Cooper, and I'm missing it! Well, I'll just have to fork over the $20 and add X-Men: First Class to my home collection. I'm sure I'll watch it plenty of times to justify the additional expense. It won't be like that copy of Spider-Man 3 that's still inside the wrapper inside its cardboard jacket. (A dance number, Sam Raimi? Really? How do you explain that? Oh, probably in the extras I haven't watched.)
The thing is: what if the blooper reel is lame? What if it's five minutes of Oliver Platt getting tongue-tied saying "Sebastian Shaw." (Okay, bad example, because that would be awesome, but you get the idea.) What if the only featurette on Jennifer Lawrence's make-up process for Mystique is of a bunch of talking heads describing the application procedure. (I don't think that a little sideboob is too much to ask for $20. Fine, it can be Kevin Bacon's. I'm really not picky.) You see, if I won't gamble on spending $20 for the movie without having seen it, why think that I will gamble on the extras?
If I decide that I want to have a copy of that movie on my shelf, it will be because I liked it enough that I will watch it multiple times, not because the extras might be worthwhile. Yes, good extras could be a factor in my making a purchase, but they'd have to be really good. We're talking sideboob, giggling Fassbender, and somebody has to hit Hugh Jackman in the nuts. Here's my credit card, but, oh wait -
I don't know that those things are in the extras, do I?
Here's the thing I don't get, Hollywood:

DVDs with extras have been available for rental for quite a while now. You could rent DVDs at the supermarket, at Blockbuster stores and all of their now out-of-business chain competitors, and at little mom-and-pop or artsy rental stores. Blockbuster shut most of them down, and now Netflix, Redbox, and on-demand pay-per-view have shut most of the Blockbuster stores down, but those of us who were renting before are still renting now. If we're buying fewer DVDs now, do you really think it's because we already got to watch the extras with our rental?
Yes, DVD sales are down, but Blu-Ray sales are up - big time. Of course, there's probably no connection there.

The Departed

A recent article in the New York Times details Hollywood's concern or, rather, their panic over the $500 million decline in box office sales in 2011 versus the year previous. Piracy is listed as a possible culprit, so is "the erosion of star power," gaming, the quality of the product being produced, the higher ticket prices, etc.
Interestingly enough, none of the articles that I have read mention the reason that I have (mostly) stopped going to the movies. Maybe I'm the only one with this reason, but, somehow, I don't think so. Sure, all of the above-mentioned reasons are probably the major factors, but I don't think that Hollywood or the cineplexes should necessarily disregard my experience.
So, Hollywood, let me tell you a story:

I used to love going to the movies. I didn't care that much when tickets jumped from $6 to
$7 to $9. Movies were my guilty pleasure. I'd get a tub of popcorn and a big soda, grab a seat in the middle of the last row (my favorite place to sit) and just get lost for 90 minutes to two hours. I always got there early to watch all of the previews. I was only mildly annoyed when car commercials started getting mixed in with my previews. Oh well. I guess the profit  margin on my $4 Coke and $5 bag of popcorn weren't quite keeping the theaters afloat. Fine, show me the truck I can't live without, and then let's just move on, shall we?
Are movies as good as they used to be? Some are. Some aren't. Some are better. Yes, Hollywood, you love your remakes, but you always have. (There are three versions of A Star is Born, all made prior to 1980, so let's not stamp our feet too loudly about modern Hollywood's apparently "sudden" lack of creativity.) Every year there are some really great movies made, and even more moderate to mediocre movies that are still quite a bit of fun.
And, for me, sitting in a dark theatre, being transported to another world, being told a moving story: that was the best kind of fun.
Until . . .
Phones started ringing in movie theaters. Then people started answering those phones. Then people started texting, and that little blue light (or several of them) immediately sucked me back away from the fantasy world and into a room occupied by an invader who apparently wasn't there to be transported with the rest of us. This person wants to take the cinematic experience and turn it into background noise for his or her very important l33t-speak discussion on who called whom a "dirty skank" behind their back. Since they paid their $9, I suppose that they think that they are entitled to spend their movie experience in whatever way they choose, but the problem is that they're ruining the experiences of the others who are there for only the movie. People like me.

Over the course of a year or so, I would complain to theater managers who would apologize and give me free passes, but apparently take no further steps to remedy the problem, because I would use the free passes and still not be able to enjoy the movie for all of the text-happy usurpers. Sure, I saw the signs and the the messages before and after the previews asking patrons to please turn off their cell phones, but, then, so did the offenders. And they just didn't care. I even tried confronting a few of these individuals myself, using a number of tactics:

Politeness: "I'm sorry, but the light from your cell phone is really distracting, would you mind not using it during the movie?"

Reason: "Um, hi. We all paid $9 to see this movie, too, and I'm sure you'd rather just turn off your phone than have to reimburse all of us."

Incredulity: "If you have a pressing conversation that cannot wait two hours, why on earth are you in a movie theater?"

Occasionally, these pleas were met with compliance. Just as often they were met with belligerence and  physical threats. Usually, however, they were met with indifference. Invariably, it was almost impossible to get back into the world of the movie, though, and the experience was spoiled. I eventually stopped confronting, stopped complaining, and just stopped going to the movies. I will still go see a film in the theater on occasion, but it is usually an art-house film that shows in a theater where the ushers take their jobs seriously and the other patrons are even more aggressive than I about confronting these backlit invaders.
Rarely in these theaters do they show "blockbusters." I end up waiting until those films become available on DVD, and I watch them at home. I'm a couple of months behind on the new movies, sure, and the home theatre experience isn't as good as the old days of watching a movie in a darkened theater that stayed dark, but I fear those days are gone. I know that there are a few privately-owned movie theaters that have taken more proactive, cinephile-friendly approaches to eliminating this text invasion, but none of them have been in any of my neighborhoods.
So, a few inconsiderate people have taken me away from the movie experience I loved, and yes, Hollywood and the multiplexes: they have taken me (and the hundreds of dollars I personally spent every year on going to the movies) away from you.

I'll confess that I don't really care for 3-D. That third dimension has a nasty habit of reminding me that I'm watching a movie, and that defeats the whole purpose. Still, if you guys were to figure out the right way to do it (this Cracked article could very well have been written by someone who overheard one of my 3-D tirades at a party), I'd shell out a few more bucks and give it a try. I don't mind the remakes as long as you find a fresh take on the story. (I've got to say, I really liked the new Arthur.)
Again, though, neither of those were the reason I stopped going to the movies.
I still enjoy the Hollywood product, but I end up having to wait for it, rent it, and watch it at home (which sucks a little for me), and I end up paying about 90% less for it (which sucks a lot for you).
The sad part is that there probably isn't a lot that you can do to get me back. If the "Martin Scorsese interrupting someone's phone call" ads aren't getting through to these knuckleheads, I don't know what will.
I just thought you deserved to know why I called it quits. It's not you, it's - well, it's not me, either, really.  It's . . . them.

Have a Camel!

Hi, it's me, your friendly neighborhood naughty elf. I'm just checking in on your shopping list. How's it going? Did you manage to get the bow around the Lexus? The trick is to set the emergency brake. How about Rockin' Elmo: did you get all of them that you needed? How much pepper spray did you end up having to use? Not bad. See, I told you: short bursts makes it last longer. Okay, so how many names are left uncrossed off your list? Wow. That many? You've only got a few days left!
Okay, it's a good thing I dropped in - by the way, you need to sweep your chimney.
I have a solution for you: Heifer. No, that sweater doesn't make you look fat, I'm talking about Heifer International, you ninny. (That sweater does make you look kind of stupid, though. Okay, maybe it's not the sweater.)
Heifer International! Come on, you've heard of them, right? Oh, fine, Alton, please educate these thunderdomes:

Clear enough? Good. Here's what you do: go to www.heifer.org and click on the gift catalog button. It's really big, you'll do fine. This will "magically" take you to a page filled with pictures of farm animals. It's kind of like the site you were looking at the other night, but completely different.
You click on the animal of your choice and then whip out your - oh, grow up! - credit card. Then you can print out a card with the name of the person you're giving the gift for. On behalf of. In the name of. Oh, whatever. You follow, right?
You can get creative if you want, too. If you donated a goat on behalf of your boss, you could go down to the nearest curio shop, buy a little porcelain goat, and, when he goes down to his reserved parking spot at the end of the day, you bounce it off his windshield, and say, "I got you a goat, you bald motherf-" . . . Okay, maybe that's not such a good idea. Anyway, you'll think of something. Sweater choices notwithstanding you seem like a smart - well, ask your kids for an idea.
Heifer International works great for those people on your list who you have no idea what to get. Seriously, if you give someone a card that says, "Hey, I gave a flock of chicks in your name to a poor, starving family so that they could get a new lease on life," and they go "Awww, maaaaaan.": Take that hemorrhoid of a human being off of next year's list. Seriously seriously.
It's a no-brainer. You could even go in with a group of people who are just as befuddled as you and give a water buffalo, or a cow, or a camel - which, actually, reminds me of a joke . . .
Hey, where are you going?

Defrosting

I woke up to "Let It Snow" this morning on the radio. Soured on the Christmas Holiday as I am, I started to reach for the radio to turn it off, but then something occurred to me.
"Let It Snow"isn't a Christmas song.
No Santa.
No elves.
No Baby Jesus, angels, or star.
It isn't about shopping or exchanging gifts.
It's a love song. The singer wants it to keep snowing so that he or she can stay a bit longer snuggling with their significant other.
I decided to investigate.
The first thing that I found is that something very interesting happens when you type "let it snow" into the Google homepage. Go ahead, try  it. I'll wait.
Cool, huh? Those clever, clever nerds.
The next thing I found is that my observations were correct. A re-read of the lyrics confirms no holiday references whatsoever. Check it:

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

But the fire is so delightful

And, since we've no place to go:

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,

And I've brought some corn for popping.

The lights are turned way down low.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight,

How I'll hate going out in the storm.

But if you'll really hold me tight,

All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,

And, my dear, we're still good-bying.

But as long as you love me so,

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

The song was written by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne in 1945 - right at the outset of the U.S. Baby Boom. Coincidence? I think not.

Two more songs that have become "Christmas songs" but really don't actually have anything to do with Christmas per se are "Frosty the Snowman" and "Winter Wonderland." (The "sleigh bells" referenced in the latter song aren't on Claus's sleigh.)
Why is this important? Well, it isn't, really. (Look up "superfluity" in the dictionary.)  However, I found it at least mildly significant for myself as I have become increasingly disenchanted with this holiday season (which has increased in duration since I was a kid). Seeing TV commercials with luxury cars wrapped in bows, Black Friday shoppers camping out in tents in parking lots, and Jolly Ol' St. Nick's face on advertisements for everything from cell phones to soda pop has left me cringing every time I hear "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
You can call me a "Scrooge" if you want, but pepper-spraying someone to be first to get to a sale was the sort of thing Ebenezer would have done before his ghostly encounter. I'm just saying. (Do I have to pay Aaron Sorkin every time I use that phrase or just if I say it rapidly?)
I get called a Grinch sometimes, too. Apparently no one remembers that the moral of that story is that presents weren't important. Audible sigh.
Anyway, I've got at least three songs that I will be hearing the rest of the year over and over that I can sing along to without feeling the least bit of irony. I'll take what I can get.

Boo! Yourself

Here on All Hallow's Eve/Samhain Eve/Halloween, it seems appropriate to talk about my favorite scary, gory, slasher films. As a film buff, I'm bound to have some real gems, right? Right?
Two problems: I've never really been a big fan of gore or of being scared.
Now, I like roller coasters and giant water slides and thrills of that kind. I love that kind of adrenaline rush. There's just something about having something jump out at me from the dark that I just don't like. It's almost like a negative adrenaline rush. My knee-jerk reaction is fight or flight, and - unfortunately for those who have tried to spook me - it's usually fight.
Like this guy:

This is why I don't go to haunted houses. It's just safer for everyone.

While a thrilling ride on a roller coaster leaves me with a bit of a "high," the feeling I have after a "Boo!" type of scare leaves me with a nagging, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach for hours afterwards. I just don't enjoy it. However, I recognize that other people do, and I've even utilized this fact in some of my own artistic ventures. About a dozen years ago, I directed a live theatrical version of Dracula that literally had people jumping out of their seats. (Fortunately, they climbed back into them to enjoy the rest of the show as well.)
As for gore, I don't necessarily have a weak stomach, I just don't think it's as "cool" as some people do. It's kind of like a joke in which I don't get the punch line. It doesn't bother me, really, but I don't really enjoy a movie in which gore is the central focus.
That's not to say that I don't like many films that fall into the "horror" genre. I love the ethereal feel of the old Universal Horror films: Bela Lugosi's Count Dracula, Boris Karloff's man-made monster, Lon Chaney Jr.'s cursed Wolf Man. I'll probably watch a couple of those tonight, in fact. I might even watch the Spanish-language version of Dracula, shot at night on the Universal sets after the American actors and crew had gone home for the night.

Then, of course, there are the Hammer horror films that revived (no pun intended) the old Universal monsters (many of them with Christopher Lee's face). These films pushed the envelope just a bit further in terms of on-screen brutality and sensuality, though some of the later efforts were perhaps a bit too heavy-handed in their execution (again, no pun intended.) I think that the initial films were among the best.

I can appreciate the skill of directors like Wes Craven in their ability to make audiences scream in surprise or cringe in horror, but I'm just not his audience. I thought the first Scream movie was very well-done, but I just haven't bothered with any of the sequels. It's not my thing.
I find that I tend to enjoy horror films when mixed with other genres. I found Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland more palatable for their humor. Movies like Constantine and Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (both based on comic books, by the way) mix horror and hard-boiled detective stories.

Priest, the Russian film Night Watch, and the recent Attack the Block are really more like action films with a horror twist.

So, unfortunately, I'm just going to have to let you down this time around since I really can't think of any good horror films to recommend for your Halloween viewing. Sorry.
(See what I did there?)